okay so the skinny jeans didn't work out for me so well …

Posts Tagged ‘college


A look at “talking white”, for what it is worth. Chances are your accusers are talking White when they get the chance trying to get ahead when no one else is looking, as long as no one else knows nothing is lost and no one’s feelings get hurt …

I couldn’t talk “Black” if I wanted to it has little to do with my true experiences or where I am really coming from. In fact “talking Black” is far more comprehensive than just my speech, it encapsulates everything from the way I write, how I think, and what my outlook on the world is. A lot of people that talk in the way that most African-Americans are comfortable with and appear to be a lot closer to that true authentic experience of going through life in America’s housing projects not having anything, and coming into ones own, are a lot smarter than the average person gives them credit for.

Sure there are advantages in being able to “talk White”. For one you have had years of practice in situations with Whites and are either as comfortable among them as you are those of your own race, if not more. Whites allow you into their home, take you behind closed doors and show you a different world and teach you things that most Blacks they can’t trust will never get to take advantage of. No dummy it’s rarely any of that I digress, but it sounds cool and makes it seem a lot different than what it really is. It makes it a lot easier to date outside of your race if you “talk White”; well perhaps you can end up with Buffy, Melissa, Susan or Sharon instead of that White girl who wants to be Black with the braids and cornrolls in her hair. Again, no anything but; those girls probably want a thug you’re just another boring African-American looking for an equally boring person to spend some quality time with.

Yet when it is all over and done with you never really chose to “talk White” because it was never really an option with you. This is how you truly are; yes I am really that diverse, yes my opinions are a bit different on the matter it is not an act. Yet it is perceived or suggested that after a long hard day of work we go back home to a life in the ‘hood and kick back and do what we really want to.

Our experiences growing up or even those that changed us or defined us later on in life are rather diverse. You could have two different African-Americans both coming up in those same housing projects going through the same obstacles. Yet still one would be “prim and proper” and accused of “talking White” while the other was “ghetto” and there wasn’t any chance for them to make it. What was once solely the consequences of being in a deprived socioeconomic situation is now merely a situation where perhaps one took advantage of whatever charity they could get. Though poor; their parents had them participate wherever they could as a rich philanthropists money poured resources into neighborhoods, schools and community centers offering programs and resources that never existed before. Typical existence for a city kid that has nothing that can benefit from someone else who has everything that wants to leave their footprint in the city, a legacy, a mark that they were there and are proud of where they are from.

These days you can take advantage of scholarships and work things out in that you may have the chance to go to the Ivy League school of your choice, or at least get a nice degree from a historically black college or university. A lot of the kids that I went to Wilberforce University with “talked White”, but it didn’t necessarily mean that they were upper middle class kids either. Some were, but others were there in the financial aid office trying to get every single scholarship they could get; their parents may have dropped them off at school freshman week, but the rest of that college experience was on their own dime.

Did they always “talk White”, not always. But they knew how to conduct themselves around different people and could get along with the professors at the school well; a lot of teachers at the school weren’t White and we had a lot of teachers from other countries and different cultures. Were there White teachers at the University that were cool and “talked Black”, of course. So often the idea of whether or not your speech is “White” or “Black” is simply a perception, nothing else. If that is all that you know, or what comes natural to you, then it is about as authentically Black as any other experience you could imagine.

As far as I can tell whether I “talk White” or not I still have those patterns in my voice, that tone, that gives it that “Black” feel where you may or may not be so sure. It may come across differently on the phone and you may be able to see that reflected in the way I write, the way I dress, the way I act, but it’s all me. Not so Black, and not so White either, just whatever suits me at that moment. Yet I sort of like my speech, and wouldn’t change it for anything …


OK, by now I know you’re probably like, “What is going on over there”, and now that I finally do have something to post, you’ll probably wish that I hadn’t posted, but it needs to be said, that is if I am really saying anything, which if you know me, I’m not really. By now you’re probably sick of hearing about this, but here we are again, at a crossroads, or they’d like to lead you to believe. Hazing, fondly looked upon by members of organizations, tolerated by others, sympathetically if you want to be a part of an organization yourself, with some indifference if you do not understand it. In their own defense, absent all of the media attention afforded by this, historically, organizations have done a lot to promote positivity and to encourage economic growth in the same communities they serve, directly if you’ve come from one of these communities, beat the odds and went to school, and then gave back, indirectly if you’ve noticed their presence in general, though few would like to speak about it. Yet the paradox is that the more vocal, entertaining aspects are all anyone sees; hazing, stepping, class, pride and prejudice. It may be the reason you’re in college to begin with, you’ve worked all summer to save up a few thousand dollars to be a part of something bigger than yourself. Anyone can get a degree, but not everyone can do this …

Yet the consequences of hazing; psychological trauma, Stockholm Syndrome, physical abuse, intrigues the outside world, and perhaps they should look at the process under a microscope, though it’s questionable that it would ever happen. The irony is that in a regular setting, much of what does pass as a mere initiation may be construed as a crime otherwise. But can the courts, law enforcement, the schools themselves do much to turn around what in the last 30 years, or more, is taken for granted as par for course for anyone desiring to be a part of a larger social group, and if they are successful in changing that around, what, if anything, would happen to the organizations themselves, or would they simply have to find a way to reinvent themselves? Voluntarily, you do sign up for this, it isn’t a gang or anything and outside of the social repercussions that’s pretty much it if you drop out of it. It is something to think about; something I’ve forgotten about now that I’m out of school, yet I return to it upon reading or hearing the news, think about why I hadn’t done it myself or my life would have been any different if I had. There is always some sort of hazing to go through, however, just that it typically isn’t physical but it does involve some sort of challenges to work through, just in life in general. If you hadn’t had that experience, you’re probably better off for it, but if you hadn’t learned anything to begin with, then maybe it was another thing, and all that ‘s valuable about what you could have learned from being in that clique, is just lost …


much has been made about Bill Cosby’s statements about poor, inner-city youth. granted, Cosby may have made his statements before, and his position may mirror those of “true” civil rights leaders of the past, as his supporters are quick to point out, but at the end of the day, one cannot take his statements into consideration without taking a look at the real divide between those poorer African-Americans that are stuck in our ghettos and those that are well to do in our middle class, as well as those that have truly made it and are rich.

my own experience has been that it is easy to go with the flow and only hang around other blacks and whites as “privileged” as yourself, than to go against the grain and deal with blacks that aren’t as fortunate as you are. ideally, being college educated would have “shielded” me from having to digress and deal with the “lower class” of African-Americans. but that’s such a * joke it’s ridiculous, I mean, can you really humor me any more than I already am. for one, for such a prestigious Black university, the majority of those students came from lower, or outright poor, communities. don’t tell anyone, but there is a serious outreach program to get poor students into HBCUs because quite honestly, there are as many, if not more, middle class or rich blacks that choose to go to the public, largely Caucasian universities as it’s chic to take advantage of opportunities you formerly couldn’t because you were excluded from being able to partake of them, as opposed to building something of your own. too many of us do it these days. I found myself almost caught up in it as my own college trips included visiting largely Protestant, Christian institutions where I would be even harder pressed to find another African-American as I did in high school. Certainly I knew better.

once I did get into school though, I found that campus life was predominated by Greek organizations, which appeared on the surface to deal more with cliques and society than they did actually giving back to the communities they so readily represented. a few too many parties, a bit too much status. entirely too much rhetoric.

if we’re so happy and content with bourgeois society why do so many of us slum in the ghettos forsaking an education to learn about inner city life? Why are so many of us striving to be Kanye West? If the only thing separating the upper class from the lower class is French designers and European automobiles, as opposed to baggy jeans and the subway what difference does it make how some of us talk and act, if the rest of us are doing it in private?

i don’t question that the civil rights leaders aren’t doing all that they can, or that they’re in it for themselves, or whatever. i don’t even really have that much of an issue with what Bill Cosby or anyone else had said on the matter, or not. but i wonder, if what we have to be so proud of to begin with truly exists, or if it isn’t just a convenient way to pretend to create some type of status or differentiation between the haves or have nots, or just another illusion …

therefore if i knew better; i’d strive harder to work for that life where i don’t have to concern myself, so much, with that one could consider to be, well, an embarassment, “blight”, on what so many of us are supposed to be working to get away from. then again, it’s not quite so “bad”, yet the irony is, that one would even have to take such a thought into consideration to begin with, particularly when it was just yesterday, that so many of us were ready to die, just to enjoy much of what we take for granted, yet don’t respect, today …